Do you say all the things to the world that you wish somebody would say to you? Do you spend your moments putting out what you’ve been told will come back to you, manifold?
It can feel like a lonely world when you find yourself sole custodian of cheer and hope and joy and good humour. The thing is, people don’t always mean to be exploitative. But we live in a starved world where to see something means to covet it, not be inspired by it.
How do you keep hope in a transactional universe? Even the principle of karma which is about taking control of and responsibility for your own actions, thoughts and feelings has been turned into a debit-and-credit column of good acts and returns owed. How do you find hope in a world that’s unwilling to give it to you? I’ll tell you.
Close your eyes. Close it to the impoverishment of hearts. Close it to the starved souls. Close it to the morally bankrupt, the ethically careless, the selfish and those who would live from fear instead of hope. Close it, pull yourself in for a minute. Pull back all the good sentiment you put out into the universe. Feel it return to you in silvery streaks of caring, in gold threads of loyalty, in star-studded clouds of faith, in bow-tied ribbons of connection. Feel them nourish your soul, feel them bind together the fragmenting pieces of you.
You are good. You are well. You are okay. Your quest for hope and love is not about handing them out to other people, in return for their reciprocal gifts. You are on a journey, not a child’s birthday party. Your lesson is not to find hope. It is to become HOPE.
Close your eyes and feel it become one with every cell of you.
Summer is here and this time it seems harsher than it has been in past years.
I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not 2017 anymore. While the world is in turmoil in so many ways, it still feels like a better time for me personally than the last year was. Do we get used to suffering? I think so.
I’m not a suicidal person but…sentences that begin that way lend themselves to assumption, don’t they? I don’t assume I know the ending of people’s sentences when they start. But lately, I’ve been finding myself cut off more and more in conversations. I’ve spent a lot of time calling out mansplaining and the silencing of women and these actions are definitely gendered. But I also think this kind of NONONONONONANANANANAANAICANTHEARYOUIDONTHEARYOU speaks about our culture.
We are a world of screams and no words. I’m not here for the screaming. I empathise with the anguish that makes a human being unable or unwilling to receive any kind of input from other people. But I don’t want to tend to anybody’s wounds now. I don’t think I even can. It’s a hurt world and its healing lies in itself. Maybe that is the lesson of living – how to remember to stop hurting.
I just finished reading Masters of Sex, the book on which this TV show was based. My opinions have shifted, somewhat. There is of course the difference in the two media. With the book, I’ve been able to ponder it over several months without feeling the need to retrace my steps. With the show, I […]
I’m really enjoying the company of books and my plants. For the first time in my life, these don’t feel like temporary or even like escape from the loneliness between men. Because I’m realising my times with men have been my loneliest. I know I’ve probably had bad luck in this regard. I also believe […]
I’m currently watching the TV series, Masters of Sex. It was the first show I began on Netflix when I first subscribed. I had to stop and move to other things that were easier. I’ve tried to come back several times and I think this time I’ll manage to finish it. I’m also reading the […]
I don’t understand what the problem with selfies is. I remember a time when people would keep handing their camera over to others and asking them to shoot their pictures. THAT was really annoying. Selfies put people in charge of their own vanity. Also, vanity. It’s defined as ‘Excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, […]
If you follow me on Twitter, you probably know that I’ve been swimming pretty regularly of late. I love swimming. It’s my favorite physical activity of them all. Yes, ALL. Proof that swimming is the best thing to happen to human beings and in short we should never have gotten out on land. #swimlife […]