- Classmates I only accepted requests from because we got tagged in old photos. They weren’t nice to me in school, I don’t want them around.
- People I met at some event with whom I haven’t interacted again. If we need to speak again, one of us will find the other sure enough.
- Colleagues from zillion jobs ago. Go, LinkedIn!
- Friends of exes. Yes, truly done suffering.
- One time crushes or flames who are married. What’s the point? (yes, I am that cold)
- People I just don’t like. Maybe I never did or maybe this is recent. I don’t have to explain.
- Friends who are not anymore. How many of these there have been in the past year! Maybe I was long overdue a life spring-cleaning. Sigh.
- Spouses, siblings and other associations via the above people. Keep it clean and brutal, make it good.
I’m reclaiming the word ‘Friend’. A friend is someone whose life is engaged with mine, not just connected via digital bytes. Friendship cannot get by on nostalgia or long redundant promises. It certainly is not worth dragging along relationships that have thrown up more than their fair share of resentment, anger and hurt.
I’ve decided it is also okay for me to hold up certain things as standards for people in my life. No lies, no backbiting, no cheating, no pettiness. I bend over backwards to avoid doing these and I have the right to expect it from other people. Lying is a big deal for me and it’s time I let it become the deal-breaker too.
There are new people in there, of course. These are people I see the possibility of really sharing life experiences, with. These may be people I know from work, common acquaintances or events I’ve been to. But there has been something in our last conversations that makes me think, there could be more. If someone has faded to being one of the numbers or I feel like I’ve faded similarly in their life, I’ve hit UNFRIEND.
Relationships matter to me as do words. A cluttered friends list means a diluted life for me. To give someone I don’t like much or who I feel doesn’t treat me well or to whom I’m indifferent, the same access to my life that I give the people who matter to me — this seems disrespectful of these important relationships. And they wear me down. So goodbye, everyone who has ceased to matter and thank you for having passed through my life in whatever way you did. Go in peace, fare well and don’t look back. I won’t.