The Anti-Love Fundamentalists


The people who espouse hookups are just as fundamentalist in their beliefs as the people they scoff at (the shaadi.com, till-death-do-us-part type).

The Marriage Fundamentalists impose tradition and religious rituals on every aspect of the male-female interaction. The Hookup Loyalists draw rigid boundaries on what may be said, done, thought and felt. Both of them measure ‘deliverables’, assess you for your result-worthiness and are ruthless in cutting you down if you don’t match up.

I don’t believe in the entire-family-dictates-the-relationship system that is so honoured by the great Indian value system. Astrological matches, bank accounts and family pedigree have everything to do with that system. It strikes me as brutally businesslike. So cold.

I also don’t understand the sex-no-strings concept as it’s getting pushed about. What is sex without sensation? How can you have a sensory experience when you dull your senses? To me, that’s like eating a gourmet meal with your eyes and nose shut and your taste buds dulled. And this feels transactional as well. Cold, again.

I think, I’d like to get to know people. I need to have an agenda-free conversation with a person to figure out (in conjunction with them) how we relate to each other and where we would like to see that conversation going. Isn’t this a fundamental human need? But neither system allows for this.

But more to the point, why does believing this make me uncool, boring or (yes, one person said this), not fit to be on the social circuit? The rabidity with which I’m hounded for my no-hookup belief, is rivalled only by the unbelievable pressure to get married, that I experienced in my mid-20s.

I’m afraid we’re a generation of people who’re chasing a strange notion of love, so we can pound it to pulp and burn its remains.

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4 thoughts on “The Anti-Love Fundamentalists

  1. […] cheating. It’s people who are too ‘respectable’ to buy sex, seeing an easy unpaid option. It’s ‘modern men’ who treat the woman in a hookup as a hooker who won’t charge them. I thought hookups were just about having sex with a person you barely knew and both parties not […]

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  2. sam July 10, 2014 at 22:38 Reply

    Wow I love how you thoughts have matured
    Over the years.i think you can only
    Connect with people at a deeper level
    If you remove sex marriage hookup
    From the initial conversion. Its hard
    Very hard for a guy at times when talking at lot
    With an attractive woman.but knowing
    How you vibe at a deeper level helps
    Take the relationship to a deeper level
    .but for some it could start with fun sexual encounters
    .friends ,sex partners , mean different things to
    Different people .and I respect their decision.
    Sometimes rigidity of thought may make us misss out on
    Exciting exorriences or make us miserable.
    Everything in life is a game of dice

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    • IdeaSmith July 24, 2014 at 02:11 Reply

      @sam: This is true. And when are you going to show me your face?

      Like

  3. sini July 26, 2014 at 22:15 Reply

    Hi i guess each person has a different view.trust me fall in love n tell me.thats the most beautiful feeling.to be loved by someone is truely a beautiful feeling.

    Like

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