Love, actually

Some random things that have drifted across my mind recently:


We spend our lives looking for something that will matter so much to us,
that we can’t live without it
Then when we find it,
we run away to practise living without it.


Do you ever have a moment when you realise that someone genuinely cares for you
And you wonder, “WHY?”
Being loved is almost as moving an experience as loving someone
Sometimes it’s slightly spooky and occasionally downright scary
…coming face to face with those aspects of yourself that are deserving of love.


Each time you hurt me
I flee and hide
Nursing my wounds and wondering why you keep hurting me

And then I come back to you
In the hope that this time, you’ll heal me instead.


You don’t need to own a person to be able to love them
You don’t need to be in a relationship with them, don’t need to have them reciprocate
You don’t even actually need them to be actively a part of your life
All you need is to be happy that the person exists
Not indifferent, not indulgent but actively pleased, gratified by the thought
If the thought of the person puts a smile on your face, that can erase all the unpleasant memories they’ve created…
That’s love, that’s love enough, that’s enough really.


Earlier in the week, I inadvertently said something funny and intelligent (only I can’t remember it now). And someone in the room said,

Will you marry me?

I dimpled when someone told my proposer,

You’re already married….to a great man!!!!!


On the weekend, I saw my dear friend. And she looked mesmerizing. She was always a pretty girl. Nicely-dressed too. But last evening, she was positively shimmering. Suddenly I just knew that she was very beautiful. Like her very skin was aglow with her deeply spiritual self, her eyes dancing with the sweet, uncynical wisdom I’ve come to associate with her. Didn’t someone say “We don’t love people because they’re beautiful but they seem beautiful to us because we love them.”? Then when I told her for the fifteenth time that she looked gorgeous, she beamed back and eyes twinkling, asked,

Are you having a crush on me?

I declared,


And again, for a brief moment, I wondered why my normally easy-to-agitation self was so complacent, unperturbed over something that seems to disturb most people.


From a movie I saw on the weekend,

You can have both roots and wings.


Sometimes truly loving a person means letting them believe that they care about you more than you care about them. Everybody needs to be loved but some people can’t bear to be reminded of it.

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27 thoughts on “Love, actually

  1. ricercer May 13, 2007 at 14:49 Reply

    thanks for writing this ๐Ÿ™‚ its beauticul perfect v wise and v happy reading ๐Ÿ™‚


  2. DC May 13, 2007 at 18:17 Reply

    This is nice, contemplative but not preachy, pithy and quotable ๐Ÿ™‚


  3. Bibs May 13, 2007 at 22:15 Reply

    …beautiful thoughts….its scary how articulate you are on some of these …


  4. Shreyasi May 14, 2007 at 09:24 Reply

    Unadulterated Ideasmithy! loved this one ๐Ÿ™‚


  5. chronicus skepticus May 14, 2007 at 11:58 Reply

    Y’know the weirdest thing? I can’t remember what you said either! However, my offer still stands (yes, despite the ‘great man’).

    Stupid monogamy!



  6. ideasmith May 14, 2007 at 14:08 Reply

    @ Ricercer, DC, Bibs: ๐Ÿ™‚ Thenk yew vairy much!

    @ Shreyasi: LOL….aajkal sab cheezon mein milawat hai, sivay Ideasmithy ke! *Pardon my brief moment of madness*

    @ Chronicus Skepticus: Mucho gratified! Wonly, this comment blows the cover off my ‘mysterious proposer’. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  7. manuscrypts May 14, 2007 at 16:11 Reply

    hmmm..wondering about the movie line..


  8. {illyria} May 14, 2007 at 17:24 Reply

    lovely vignettes!


  9. someonearbit May 14, 2007 at 19:35 Reply

    lol…. true….
    I dont believe I need to be loved…
    and then sometimes I just look at myself in the eye in the mirror and smile “What bullshit!”

    then walk out of the house..and say…bloody sentimental jellyfish you are becoming woman! knock some sense into that head.



  10. Ginger Girl May 14, 2007 at 19:36 Reply

    lolโ€ฆ. trueโ€ฆ.
    I dont believe I need to be lovedโ€ฆ
    and then sometimes I just look at myself in the eye in the mirror and smile โ€œWhat bullshit!โ€

    then walk out of the house..and sayโ€ฆbloody sentimental jellyfish you are becoming woman! knock some sense into that head.



  11. Masquerader May 14, 2007 at 20:23 Reply

    Uh, one more proposal wouldnโ€™t be totally inappropriate, would it? But I have to ask. Will you marry me? ๐Ÿ™‚


  12. Because of B May 14, 2007 at 21:16 Reply

    u know wot
    perfect time to put the perfect thots…


  13. Brad May 15, 2007 at 00:25 Reply

    The last one puts a few things into the right perspective and helps me understand Toujours better! ๐Ÿ™‚


  14. Melody May 15, 2007 at 01:11 Reply

    “Didnโ€™t someone say โ€œWe donโ€™t love people because theyโ€™re beautiful but they seem beautiful to us because we love them.โ€?”

    I think I learned this is as part of an English Lesson in my school’s “Bal Bharati”… what was it now? Ah yes, it was this Russian Folk take – My mother is the most beautiful woman in the world.

    You’d like ๐Ÿ™‚


  15. St May 15, 2007 at 12:52 Reply

    > You can have both roots and wings.

    Chicken curry?


  16. Brad May 15, 2007 at 21:05 Reply

    I remember the story that Melody makes a mention of in here. 7th standard, I think. After reading that story, I also remember telling my friend – “I don’t think my mom is the most beautiful woman in the world. But I don’t think I love her any less.” I went on to say that the lesson was a wee bit misleading.

    It’s funny that I still remember those lines.


  17. J. Alfred Prufrock May 16, 2007 at 07:31 Reply

    Too deep for me, ma’m. I should stick to samosettes. And grape juice.
    (You, your ‘proposer’ and the other small lady owe two men an Evening with an Amnesty.)

    Your template’s jumping. Very … disorienting? … for an old man.



  18. ideasmith May 16, 2007 at 14:30 Reply

    @ Manuscrypts: ‘Sweet Home Alabama’.

    @ Masquerader: ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you. I’m really enjoying my freedom right now. I’ll treasure the comment for posterity, though.

    @ Because of B: Is it? Has it happened to you too?

    @ Brad: Ah, so she does exist? When are you going to tell us about her?

    @ Melody: That’s the story I was remembering. Didn’t want to write it all out in this post, though.

    @ St: :-p I ddin’t know the critters had roots too!

    @ J.A.P. – Old man? Teddy-bear! Sorry about the template….it reflects my mood – jumpy and restless till…uh, well, till I settle down.


  19. St May 17, 2007 at 10:37 Reply

    potatos are ‘roots’


  20. Pack of atoms May 18, 2007 at 17:13 Reply

    Uncanny…are you by any chance a member of the Thought Police? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    [a first time commenter n regular reader]


  21. ideasmith May 19, 2007 at 11:18 Reply

    @ St: ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ Pack of atoms: Ah, now that you know, I’ll have to kill you. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thanks for speaking up….it is always good to actually talk to people who read you.


  22. Pack of atoms May 26, 2007 at 02:17 Reply

    Or, (since you’re no stranger to proposals from women:P) you could marry me? ๐Ÿ˜‰


  23. ideasmith May 26, 2007 at 19:32 Reply

    @ Pack of atoms: If some people I’ve dated are to believed….marriage might be an even more fitting punishment than murder! ๐Ÿ˜€


  24. Pack of atoms June 3, 2007 at 20:40 Reply

    methinx we must’ve dated d same people ๐Ÿ˜›

    [v late, pliss miss, sorry miss!]


  25. ideasmith June 4, 2007 at 10:19 Reply

    @ Pack of atoms: Hmm…I wonder if we’ve ever dated each other!


  26. […] After this, another string of random thoughts on breaking up and the afterlife. […]


  27. […] After this, another string of random thoughts on breaking up and the afterlife. […]


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