Never ever, have I ever…


Yesterday I went out for a drink with some colleagues. The talk turned to drinking games and we started on one called ‘Never ever, have I ever’. Here’s how it is played. One person raises his/her glass and proclaims “Never ever, have I ever….” and ends it with a statement. Everyone in the group who has done that particular thing must take a swig from their glasses.

It seemed harmless enough as it began but as the drink went down, the declarations got more and more daring (daringer and daringer..?) The two foreigners in the group thought that Indians were an extremely conservative bunch. And it would seem that way, considering all the things they came up with! I guess we are doers too, just not talkers.

The drink really loosens up tongues I bet…or perhaps that’s just the effect of adrenalin overdose and the group mentality, where everyone is egging each other on. I woke up this morning horrified at all the things I’d admitted to. Of course there were other women in the group, but one is married (and hence all is forgiven….hell, I didn’t make those ideas!), one is soon to be hitched and the last one was Little Miss Muffet. The married one remarked as we went home that everyone was more interested in her sex life before marriage than after…..yeah, where’s the excitement in the safety net of marriage? The guys had a blast of course, with each one trying to outdo the other with gory, sordid stories of college capers and adolescent adventures.

It made me wonder why really we are so uptight about things. We cringe at the idea of the most popular human activity. Some of us like to pretend we know nothing about such things (apparently this section was a special Stork Express Delivery). I shoot my mouth off about the modern women and boldness, but I was hesitant to talk about my ‘dirty secrets’ too. People are even reluctant to talk about the universal emotion of love (yes, yes it is still a four-letter word in my diary but what’s this about not even talking about it?)

There were some revelations. At “I’ve been in love with a teacher”, all of us raised a toast. Of course I know that at an intellectual level. Still, to actually see proof of it…is a realization. Followed by a session of ‘Truth or Dare’ the wildness quotient went up by the minute. Every nasty thing admitted to, was dragged out and examined in leering light. Yeaaarrrrgggghhhhh…..

This sort of a thing with colleagues brings about its own pitfalls. ‘The people I work with’ * in hushed tones*. Yes, I was jittery this morning, wondering whether any of these people would behave a little differently. Actually they didn’t. Of course I wonder if they’re judging me, but what the hell….at least I know how they’ll judge me if they do. Maybe we are all slightly voyeuristic. We enjoy listening to shocking things people have done. Maybe it makes us feel not so alone, not so weird, not so wrong.

I don’t know if I’ll live to regret this party. Maybe I shouldn’t have been quite so honest. Then again, we all need some moments that make us cringe with shame, when we look back. Its good for the soul. You can’t know purity until you’ve been dirty.

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24 thoughts on “Never ever, have I ever…

  1. ~Sen~ September 3, 2005 at 04:16 Reply

    The party, sure must have been a blast… in every sense 😀
    You do good, lady.
    ciao

    Like

  2. NoHairBrain September 3, 2005 at 04:26 Reply

    :)) Yeah!! true .. self-deprecation is the solution to better life 🙂

    Like

  3. Australopithecus September 4, 2005 at 10:48 Reply

    hehe..I am still haunted by a drunk truth or dare session that happened 6 years ago…that was fun.

    Like

  4. Contrarian September 4, 2005 at 23:44 Reply

    Party… mirror… Tamilian roots… Triangulation is a very good technique to try to get a grasp on something. Do these three articles somehow triangulate the essential you? Of course, I immensely enjoyed reading them. Would never read them otherwise :). Btw, got a new post, care to drop in? 🙂

    Like

  5. manuscrypts September 5, 2005 at 13:44 Reply

    hmm, well, the good part about it is, it got you to post 🙂

    Like

  6. Aekta September 5, 2005 at 14:53 Reply

    “You can’t know purity until you’ve been dirty.” I’ll drink to that. 🙂

    Gorgeous post, as always.

    Like

  7. Anonymous September 6, 2005 at 11:28 Reply

    Hey IdeaS…
    Do any of your colleagues read your posts, knowing they’re yours ??!!

    I am of the notion that they reveal a lot more about you than ANYTHING you’d say when you were drunk an’ playin a truth-or-dare kinda game !!

    -anon1

    Like

  8. IdeaSmith September 6, 2005 at 14:16 Reply

    I have no idea if my collegues read my posts (with or without the knowledge that they are mine). But you’re right…my blogs say a lot more about me than any drunken revelations have!

    Like

  9. Heretic September 6, 2005 at 16:26 Reply

    Blogging, in a sense, is truth or dare extended over a longer time-frame.

    Hope your darkest secrets live happily within you; the sum of your secrets is the extent to which you’ve lived life. 🙂

    Like

  10. Valhalla September 7, 2005 at 04:36 Reply

    Never ever, have I ever.. played a drinking game.. hic!

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  11. Apoorva Joshi September 7, 2005 at 09:00 Reply

    Hmmm… reminds me of good ol college days and beer pong. Like they say, if u wanna know the darker side of someones life, ask his/her booze buddies!

    Like

  12. Pincushion September 7, 2005 at 16:16 Reply

    Never played the game! I wouldn’t dare 😉 too many secrets u see! LOLOL
    but..i often wonder why we are brought up to think that the most pleasurable of emotions (actions ??)are considered dirty! Oh i know i know..i consider them that too..lol!
    Its just too overrated..guess i am getting ollllld!

    Like

  13. Brad September 7, 2005 at 22:40 Reply

    There is no need to cringe with shame coz’ you were honest. You were just playing the game by the rules, and you played it right!

    But if it came to revealing a ‘really’ dark secret, would you take the swig?

    Like

  14. Ava September 8, 2005 at 06:12 Reply

    I’m glad to ‘read’ you back Smithy… you’re always so right…
    This party sounds like a blast, I agree, we all need a shameful moment or two once in a while to look back to, being perfect is not human, and admitting to it in public takes a lot of guts.

    Like

  15. Anonymous September 8, 2005 at 14:37 Reply

    yup yup IdeaS.. I’m always right.. now BLOG already..

    Sheesh.. how many times am I gonna REFRESH this damn page !!

    X-(

    -anon1

    Like

  16. Anonymous September 8, 2005 at 17:48 Reply

    watch your step.

    Like

  17. couchpotato September 9, 2005 at 17:10 Reply

    Yeah, guess we ought to have dirty experiences to cognise purity. That’s why I take pains to keep myself dirty all the time! 😉

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  18. Rohan Kumar September 9, 2005 at 18:28 Reply

    The drunk confessionals and the after mornings wondering what all u disclosed…..been there done that :). And yes confession is good for the soul.

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  19. A Cynic in Wonderland September 10, 2005 at 10:15 Reply

    Hic! Whats done is done!

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  20. infinity September 11, 2005 at 17:08 Reply

    definitely drinking loosens a few tongues…u may have said or shown more than u wanted to but even if those ppl r judging u,wht the hell?

    Like

  21. Arunima September 15, 2005 at 17:57 Reply

    experiment with truth?

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  22. Megha September 16, 2005 at 21:29 Reply

    All the way down at number 22, so dunno if you’ll notice this 🙂 But I’ll post anyway.

    I find confession sessions like these very liberating (of course provided it is with the right company and all that good stuff) Having revealed all, one can move past them and proceed to work on a new list of shady secrets 😉

    You have an awesome space here! And it is good to see you come by and comment on my blog. I keep stopping here to read (via your comments on Sagnik’s) but never actually commented. The deed is done today 🙂

    Like

  23. abhi September 16, 2005 at 21:42 Reply

    … and we have Iyer’s famous dance steps during our sessions …

    having said that .. we once tried something similar over Vegan Shake … (yea, cafe!!)

    ended up transforming our buddy into a gladrags model and soon to be actor now …(www.ganeshonline.com) …

    but, to be fair to him … he made himself … kudos farro .. u rock

    And yes, we’ll try this “Never ever, have I ever…” thingy once I’m sure

    Like

  24. Crashlanded September 17, 2005 at 16:45 Reply

    Hey, Was bloghopping and landed up here. I’m pretty new here, but found your post a fascinating read. Keep blogging–>

    Like

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