The Instagram Story

The social media was all abuzz last month with Facebook taking over Instagram. I took a hard look at this uber-popular image sharing app. I’m still wondering why it got so popular. Here’s my Instagram story on Social Samosa.

“The word on the street associates Facebook’s interest in Instagram with wanting to acquire a competitor. Before the takeover, Instagram’s features do seem attractive for a standalone app. Especially if you’ve tired of the complexity of Facebook and the noise on Twitter, Instagram would seem like a neat, exclusive circle to share your life via pictures. With this takeover though, the dynamics just changed and it remains to be seen how this affects the Instagram loyalists and what powers it adds to the online superpower that is Facebook.”

Read the full Instagram story on Social Samosa.

If Bollywood made ‘The Avengers’

I caught the movie that’s been big on comicbook fans’s minds for over two years now and that everyone on my timeline is talking about – The Avengers. I’m a borderline viewer, which is to say that I enjoy the comics medium and know a bit about the characters, but I’m not a fangirl. This means I get to enjoy a good summer blockbuster movie but I’m not so tied in to it that I can’t let my mind stray.

During the fight sequences (admittedly awesome, especially at the Imax former dome theatre), here’s what ran through my head. The Hulk was SMASSSSHING his fists on the ground before launching into his attack and I murmured,

“Yeh dhaai kilo ka haath!”

That launched me off into a curious daydream of a Bollywood Avengers movie, which kept me sufficiently occupied during the more extended action sequences. The Hindi dubbed version of The Avengers is called ‘Vinashak‘, which translates to The Destroyers, not the Avengers. I’m yet to think up a good name for the film since ‘Badlewaale‘ doesn’t pack the same punch as Avengers. More on that later.

What’s the cast to be?

The Hulk/ Bruce Banner

With the 2.5kilo reference, the big, green ‘other guy’ Hulk cannot be anybody but Sunny Deol. Sunny paaji also has an equally sunny smile but it’s also accompanied by a raw, earthy force. I rather liked Mark Ruffalo in this role, even over Edward Norton because he essays the mild, affable, slightly hesitant character of Bruce Banner much better. Norton, in comparison looks too collected and in control, a look that suited Fight Club but not the ‘I’m a wreck inside’ alter ego of The Hulk. To come back to Bollywood, Bruce Batten needs a subtler, milder look so how about the more polished, ‘civilised’ member of the same family? He even looks a little like Mark Ruffalo. I’m thinking Abhay Deol in his wry, slightly sardonic avatar as the mild-mannered scientist turning into a roaring Sunny Deol (remember Gadar?) when he’s angry and well, green. Hee, that ought to satisfy the intellectuals and the salt-of-the-earth alike!

Iron Man/ Tony Stark

Genius, billionaire, philanthropic playboy. Read flashy, irreverent, flirtatious showman? That can’t be anybody but Salman Khan. Nuff’ said. Well, he might have something to say about the metallic armour that covers up the torso. For a desi version, he could have the electromagnet embedded in his bare chest and flashing cool lights. (If this were the 80s, that electromagnet would be in the shape of an ‘Om’ or perhaps ‘Ma’).

Thor

This Viking demigod wasn’t too hard to place either. Maybe it’s because I’m a fan of the mythology that inspired the character and the comic/film version doesn’t seem to do justice. But I’m convinced that Thor is the token pretty boy of this group, the oldest but curiously enough the winner of ‘Most Likely To Go Metrosexual’ award. Golden flowing locks, not too quick on the uptake (especiall with Batten & Stark around)…give it up for Hrithik Roshan!

Now, let me explain. Like any female Indian who was at a hormonal stage when Kaho Na Pyaar Hain was released, I greatly enjoyed the Golden God on the silver screen. But Agneepath put that to paid when I found every man in the movie laughing at being beaten up, except the hero who took the opportunity to bawl. These muscles are for flexing, not wielding and the God is for show only. Besides, he’s the only one who can carry off that bare-chested/skirted warrior suit.

Nick Fury

This gets tricky since according to my informed sources, this character was drawn keeping in mind Samuel L. Jackson (who plays him in the movie). How do you compete with THAT? The clichedness of it pains me but it’s time to call in the senior Bachchan.

I am rather tired of seeing him play the ‘I’m older but kicking more ass than you’ role but who else? Irrfan Khan? Nah, that’s a good actor but not one who owns the screen the way Jackson does. This role needs the kind of screen charisma that doesn’t rely on good looks or acting talent. I’m drawing a blank. If you think of an alternative to Amitabh Bachchan, say it in the comments.

Black Widow/ Natasha Romanoff

This one had me stumped for awhile. It’s appalling how cookie cutter, the current crop of Bollywood actresses are. No Kareena or Katrina for me. Rani has the sensuality but not the menace of Black Widow. Deepika Padukone has the perfect body type but her face conveys no more emotion (never mind menace or guile) than the Iron Man costume. Anushka Sharma was a contender. My only problem is that she seems too sunny, too chirpy to essay a dark character like Black Widow. If she were one of Charlie’s Angels, she’d be Drew Barrymore whereas we’re looking for Lucy Liu. I don’t think Scarlette Johansson is a very good actress but she has just the right look for Black Widow. The body is right on of course but the face really nails it. When she looks at you (or into the camera), you get the feeling you don’t know all there is to know and that you should be uneasy around her. Who then, can essay that?

The boy thought Mahi Gill would be a good choice. But personally I think she’s too earthy, too ‘heavy’ (not in a body mass way but in a body language way). This Black Widow needs a certain lightness of the sort that makes words like ‘lithe’ and ‘sinous’ make sense.

Much thought & discussion flowed before the image of another very beautiful and slit-eyed lady popped into my head. Remember the striking Chitrangada Singh (from Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi)? Perfect.

Captain America/ Steve Rogers

Capt. America is a squeaky clean, whitewashed character. Who is the squeakiest clean man in Bollywood (umm, to the point of boring? Imran Khan. But a superhero? Noooo. His uncle wasn’t bad at all balancing chocolate boy looks with tough machismo. So Aamir Khan it is.

Hawkeye/ Clint Barton

This one didn’t have a major role in the film but since he is an important character (and because I could think of someone who fit), he’s on this list. A sleek, lithe guy who starts off loyal, goes over to the dark side and then switches back again? It’s all in the eyes and that’s for Bollywood’s master brooder, Ajay Devgan.

Agent Phil Coulson

That covers the superheros, leaving just one notable good guy who was also responsible for some comic relief (in a wry way). I think Irrfan Khan wouldn’t be wasted on the role of Agent Phil Coulson.

Loki

Who’s left? Just a manic, boyish, seedy villian who is also a Viking demigod-gone-wrong. Loki, like all villians is an interesting character, both in folklore and the movie. I’d really like to see Ranbir Kapoor in this role. He’s got the looks (chocolate boy-turned-menacing), the talent and the body structure to carry it off.

* Images via Wikipedia, Funrocker & Entertainment Wallpaper

If you liked this post, drop me a comment telling me which other pop culture reference you’d like ‘Bollywoodized’. And do read this post about iconic Bollywood characters blogging.

Ideart: How To Paint An Assassin

Here’s something I painted for the boy for his birthday. He’s a gaming freak and Assassin’s Creed is one of his favorite franchises. In honour of the visual/verbal medium, this post is in a comic-book panel format. Presenting Ezio Auditorie:

* Cross-posted to Divadom.

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Rooh Afza popsicle

….or pepsi-cola as we called it when I was a kid. Delighted that we could make it at home and not have to rely on the whimsical mercies of the adults. Competing to see whose popsicle came out solid and whose was like mush (ice-halwa, still delicious to eat and which we’d shell out 20 bucks for later in college when it was sold as ‘slush’).

I’ve been checking the fridge every hour since last night. (I can hear adult voices from my childhood shouting at me to stop playing in the kitchen). And then, this morning, I took out a slice of my childhood summers.

* Also served at Plain Salted.

Soap Rehash

Cougar Town is exactly like Sex & the City, except with a divorcee. They dropped Little Miss Muffet but she was probably on her way out anyway. Slut friend-check, over rational friend-check, female ‘jerk-man’ jokes-score!

* Images via Wikipedia

How Social Media Helped ‘The Reluctant Detective’

There’s plenty of talk about marketing various products and services through social media. I thought Kiran Manral did something interesting, generating interest for her debut novel, ‘The Reluctant Detective’. Besides the obvious tweeting about it, she also engaged with readers, other writers and organized a number of different events that a social media professional would recognize as astute blogger outreach programs.

I had a chance to chronicle Kiran’s case in my article for Social Samosa:

“Not content with just social media conversations, Kiran also decided to add an offline aspect to her online efforts too. So she focused on driving conversations and creating experiences to generate further conversations. She says, “I’ve realised that it is not enough to talk about your book via social media or book reviews, people actually enjoy seeing, meeting and interacting with an author and that’s what I’ve tried to do.”

Read the full article on Social Samosa here.

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I Wear: The Thakur Stops Traffic!

Shweta is the boy’s cousin, who I had the pleasure of meeting last July. When I called her, she said she needed a haircut and would I mind meeting her at the parlour? I got out of the autorickshaw, wondering what she’d look like. Across the road, a girl was standing in a black tee-shirt with a stole/scarf thrown carelessly around her shoulders. She turned & gave me a brief nod & climbed into the autorickshaw with me. All my worries about awkwardness evaporated. She turned out to be a no-nonsense, regular person, exactly the kind of woman I get along well with. When the boy turned up nearly 2 hours later, we’d been chatting up a storm.

So I was thrilled when we managed to make it down to Bangalore later in the year for a weekend with Shweta and her husband. Sunday flew by in a flurry of good food, pubbing, catching up with old friends, shopping and just being Bangalore. I was charmed by the look she stepped out in – cool, comfortable, smart & individualistic. When I turned around & pointed my camera at her, she froze mid-pose on the divider. Here she is, the traffic-stopper!:

Shoes are easily the first thing you notice about a person’s look and with these, how could I miss? Plain red mojris double up as quirky (if somewhat pointy) ballet flats. A silver anklet on one ankle and a butterfly tattoo on the other, bring the urban desi vibe, a hint of her Delhi days.

Her clothes were relatively simpler, adding that laidback, effortless feel to her look. A black V-neck knit top that would have been too warm for a Mumbai afternoon but was perfect  for cool, cool Bangalore. A fitted navy blue denim skirt, a style that’s now distanced enough from its earlier avatar in the early 90s, to count as retro chic.

And then, my favorite focal point: accessories! Any mistaken notions of this being a grab-whatever-I-did look were put to rest with Shweta’s adornments. The bag was a tan leather conducter’s satchel slung across her torso. Against the staid black & blue, it complemented her red shoes without being too matchy-matchy.

The neckpiece was another Delhi artefact and matched the anklet perfectly.

I’m a skirt-wearer myself, I have short hair and I own a lot of Delhi-style accessories. But I’d never have thought to put them together this way. I think that’s why I liked Shweta’s look. Because it’s comprised of items I would see in my own cupboard but ensembled in her own individualistic style.

And now, here’s the lady, taking a bow (or something like it!).

Shweta is wearing:

• Black knit V-necked top: ~Rs.500, Lifestyle, Hyderabad (2009)
• Denim pencil skirt: ~Rs.250, Fashion Street, Mumbai (2006)
• Red mojris: Rs.150, Sarojini Nagar market, New Delhi
• Tan leather satchel: A gift from aunt in U.S.
• Oxidized metal neckpiece: Rs.120, Janpath, New Delhi
• Silver anklet: Rs.90, Janpath, New Delhi

Shweta especially had something to say about her haircut.

“This was from Hakim Aalim, Bangalore. It’s the second time I went to the brand. The first time was in Mumbai in July. Ridhima did my first haircut there. It was an excellent haircut and I would have liked to go back to her but since I didn’t make another Mumbai trip, I went to the Bangalore one. My stylist there was Jerry. I only gave him instructions to cut it short and he did the rest – awesome place!! Much recommended!!”

* Cross-posted to Divadom.

Urban Angst

Don’t you hate it when you tune into a channel you never watch and the last ten minutes of a movie you love are on?

Juno on Sony Pix right now. Gaaaah!

Film poster for Juno - Copyright 2007, Fox Searchlight Pictures (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Food For The 90s Voyeur

Once upon a time the phrase ‘music video’ occupied the mindspace that ‘MMS clip’ does today. Take the sleaze, the voyeurism & the shock value and turn the calender back a decade and a half. The 90s had butt-grabbing angels, thong-flashing teenagers and call girls with pink guns. They also had Ila Arun.

Hearken to,

“Yeh thandi aahein bharti hain. Yeh garam saasein leti hain. Aaaah. Aaaah.”

Blow hot/blow cold chick this. Move over Ishq Bector, take that Savita bhabhi, the simmering sexuality of a saree-clad housemaid was talked about a long time ago. Don’t miss Ila Arun’s expressions in every shot.

I heard this song blaring from my neighbor’s window and brought back a flash of nostalgia. Not in a good way. But in that cheap thrills-dirty laugh way. It turns out voyeurism will never die.

The Bollywood Formula

Bollywood has been formulaic for more than a decade now. X number of songs, one superstar, rumours of a romantic linkup between co-stars, controversy…all of these have enjoyed the honour of prime ingredient. I think I’ve hit on the current favorite:

Indian actor Shah Rukh Khan, arrival for press conference of "Om Shanti Om" at the Hyatt Hotel, Potsdamer Platz, Berlin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ageing actor + Badly behaved Khan = SUCCESS!

It worked well for Salmonella Can as it has in recent times for another Khan with a penchant for megalomaniac descriptions (King Khan! Don! Badshah!)

Indian actor Salman Khan (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If my Twitter timeline is anything to go by, it seems to be working well for Agent Vinod. For a safety measure, there’s also the star kid ingredient (in double) that’s been the base of every formulaic Bollywood film since the 90s.

Even if high visibility doesn’t translate to high sales (in most other sectors), in Bollywood it means a big Friday night rush at the box office. I’m told that can recover a massive chunk of the film’s costs and all else is bonus.

There’s something off-putting about this formula, for me at least. Agent Vinod was not high on my list of movies-to-watch. With this last incident, it’s just gone into never-will-watch, along with every single SRK movie after the Kunder-slapping episode. Then again, I’m probably not the target audience for these ‘marketing tactics’ and hence the products they’re selling. But since I am the target audience for the fluffy romances, the metrosexual froth and NRI movies that at least 2 of the Khans specialize in, aren’t they losing out a sizable captive audience in the long run?

But I suppose Bollywood only thinks as far as the next Friday.

Indian actor Saif Ali Khan at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)