Featured in DNA, 27May2012: Mumbai does not welcome you

Mumbai’s victimisation of South Indians happened a little before my time. But I remember life in the city before and after the Babri Masjid incident. My city, my beloved home has gone from an all-welcoming abode to a place that hates Muslims as much as the rest of the propagandized world. The anti North-Indian is relatively newer. Adulthood and living away from home brought me the knowledge of how much Mumbai resents singletons. And no one who grew up in the 90s is likely to forget the anti-Valentine’s Day moral brigade.

I live with the the shrinking tolerance in my city. Everyday my pride in the city I call home, diminishes with every statement I hear like,

“Muslims are not allowed in this building.”

“I don’t rent to bachelors.”

“We will not condone any cheap behaviour which demeans our Indian values.”

I wrote a post titled ‘The city of Mumbai does NOT welcome you‘. As on a previous occasion, I didn’t expect anyone to read, comment or commiserate. My memories of Mumbai are my own after all. But perhaps it struck a chord somewhere. DNA featured an excerpt from my post yesterday.

I began a Twitter conversation tagged #UnwelcomeMumbai asking if anyone felt welcome in Mumbai. At least everyone doesn’t agree with me. Here are some responses:

@swatkat7: I politely disagree.. I’ve lived all across Europe and ‪#Mumbai‬ is one of the friendliest cities to live in..

@NomadWanderer: oh! I’m a north Indian , have lived here when single etc etc Bombay makes u feel everything good is possible

@anaggh: yup. Just like a lot of people. But will continue staying here.

I Wear: A Mermaid On Land

This is the second of my acquisitions from the summer shopping spree. Like the inkblot top, this print too was available in a wide range of cuts and styles (including the one I picked in the inkblot print). I daresay the square cut of the inkblot top might have been interesting in this print and given that this fabric is soft & thin as opposed to the stiffer black & white, it would fall very differently. But I  was really drawn to the cool, swirly blue print and so the loose, flowing shirt/kurta seemed the best.

I had a chance to wear it the very next week. It was a hot day, one where I’d have to travel the length of the city, work for a few hours at a stretch and also fit in a salon appointment. I wanted to be comfortable and cool and this was perfect!

Jeans would have looked good with this top, especially since it has tails long enough to be tucked in. But it was too hot for denim. So I picked out this off-white cotton pair of drawstring pants, that mum got me awhile ago and that I’ve been waiting for summer to wear.

I love the comfort of drawstring pants but they tend to create a ‘muffin-top’ effect. So I let the top hang out loose.

Given the ultra casual vibe, I did feel the need for extra special accessories to keep this from looking like something I’d wear to a pajama party. I ditched my summer staple of earstuds for these dainty danglers from FabIndia. An unrelated aside – did you know talcum powder can work instant wonders on blackened silver? The pendant is a souvenir from my Goa trip last month and the Tibetan market that I chanced upon.

I had a salon appointment later, to rectify this horror inflicted on me by Enrich Matunga. And I decided to throw in a pedicure to pamper myself too. Here’s the before and after of my feet. The green gladiators are almost two years old and unimaginably comfortable. The glittery blue nailpaint was a whim to match my clothes and is what gave this post its name.

The haircut didn’t come off as well as the original but Tabu did a damn, fine job of getting it out of its mess. That’s her reflection in the mirror. What do you think?

And finally here’s the whole look:

I Wear:

• Blue tie-dye sleeveless cotton shirt: Rs.799, Cotton World
• Off-white drawstring pants:
• Crisscross silver earrings: FabIndia
• Eternity symbol silver pendant: Tibetan market, Calangute, Goa
• Green strappy gladiators: Lifestyle
• Haircut & pedicure: Enrich, Lokhandwala

* Cross-posted to Divadom.

How Social Content is Different and What This Means

Social Media signals a brave, new world of communication and interaction. Correspondingly the content on it pushes the boundaries of power, of ownership, of usage and of consumption. In my latest Social Samosa article, I take a look at what this means.

“Think of content on traditional media as a stone that you’re about to throw. Science allows us to determine its speed, direction, trajectory and eventually its destination. In contrast, Social Content is like a drop of water in the sky. It might fall as rain or collect on a leaf as a dewdrop. Or along the way, it might transform into a hailstone or even a snowflake. Each of these possibilities lead to numerous others. A snowflake might get trampled upon, slapped onto a snowman or shaped into a snowball. From here, it might get smashed on a surface or roll on the ground, pick up more material and momentum and building speed, go hurtling on to an unknown destination. The last is the phenomenon of going viral, that wet dream of every social media agencyperson.”

Read ‘How Social Content is Different and What This Means‘ on Social Samosa.

* Image via Master isolated images on FreeDigitalPhotos.

Previous Social Samosa articles this month

• Woman, are you safe on Social Media?
• The Instagram Story
• Shit brands say about Social Media
• Interview with parody blogger, Fake Rakesh Jhunjhunwala

The city of Mumbai does NOT welcome you

North-Indians unwelcome.
South-Indians unwelcome.
Muslims unwelcome.

Singletons unwelcome.
Couples unwelcome.

Artists unwelcome.
Drinkers unwelcome.

The City of Gold, blessed land of Mahalaxmi that was once given as a princess’s dowry is a treasure no more.

I’d like to say the average man on the street doesn’t carry these notions but the scary thing is that he does. This isn’t anymore a blamegame between politicians. Sure, every one of these acrimonious, poisonous beliefs have been seeded with a blatant political agenda. But this city and its inhabitants have lapped them up voraciously and the hatred is bearing fruit, the bitter fruit of intolerance.

The real trouble is that it can afford to stay this way since there aren’t any real options. Bangalore, Hyderabad and numerous others once held the promise of new cities. They’ve all sunk into oblivion or inflated beyond the reach of the common man. Delhi continues to grow at a monstrous pace and accumulate as many rape victims, cadavers and tales of debauchery as crores.

If you are a professional with an education, where can you hope to live and build something strong, positive and sustainable? If you’re not, the staggering poverty will make even this hellhole seem like heaven.

Perhaps Mumbai has been a cashcow for this country for too long. And we’re now a society that has successfully slaughtered the golden goose. Welcome to the city of gutters, greed and garbage.

A No Entry sign in San Mateo, California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Woman, are you safe on Social Media?

I combine two of my interests in this next Social Samosa post – womanhood’s challenges & social media. Facebook’s claim to fame were its privacy settings. Last month’s big news in this space was that a staggering majority of Pinterest users were women. Among the theories being bandied about was the belief that women felt safer (for some undisclosed reason) on Pinterest. I don’t believe any place online or offline is truly safe for a woman. This post looks at some basic safety tips that a lot of women don’t seem to realize

Head of Women (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

. Stay on the social space ladies, but stay safe!

The flipside of the Information Age is how it has made the broadcasting of personal information a casual thing. A decade ago, it would have been unthinkable to share a person’s phone number without their consent. But today, since every call center and social network has access to a person’s contact details, the sanctity of this information has been lost. As a result, the average social media user may pass on the contact details of someone he knows, without a thought given to how that information could be misused, validating the recipient or how the owner of that information feels.

Read ‘Woman are you safe on Social Media‘ on Social Samosa.

Previous articles this month on Social Samosa

• The Instagram Story
• Shit brands say about Social Media
• Interview with parody blogger, Fake Rakesh Jhunjhunwala

Little Nothings

You’re nothing
I’m nothing
We could have been everything but we weren’t
And maybe we never would have been.

What’s left?

Tiny Tales: The Reunion

Reunions are a mixed bag of emotions and experiences. I look older than I wish. But I feel younger. In an unflattering, diffident way that I hoped I’d be over a decade later. But I am not.

I look around and see only adults. I notice some are even starting to grey. And they’re all saying intelligent, wise things about the paintings at the art gallery we’re at. I wonder how the alma mater managed to cough up the dough to rent this place.

Then I spot Ariko. In theory, he’d look normal without his spectacles, those huge double magnifying glass things he used to wear. But now that the specs are off, his weird eyes are on view. His pupils are tiny. It’s like he’s in a shady horror movie from the 80s and has become possessed by a demon so his eyes are rolling back in his head.

He’s the manager of the gallery, I remember just as he nears me. Ah, no wonder. Poor, pathetic Ariko, even the college alumni committee knew he’d do anything to please. Including opening up this swank studio to all the credit card salesmen and software programmers that we all turned out to be. I hope the telemarketer from Socio doesn’t get grease marks on the paintings or the walls. Akiro might get fired and even I’m not mean enough to see the humour in that. Well, I won’t be as long as Shay stays away.

Ariko’s bobbing his head at me and I realize that his tiny pupils aren’t the most striking thing about his face. His hair is entirely grey but his face is still that of a 12 year old. Does he still have that 12 year old’s crush on me?

“How are you, Lara?”

I drop one perfect, plastic smile that earns me my salary. I only meant it as charity but to my alarm, he takes it as encouragement and starts to talk. I twiddle two fingers through my bangs, a gesture that won’t immediately slot me in the minds of those body-language book readers but shades my eyes enough to let me cruise the room. Clean, clean, clean, clean. Or rather, greasy, harmless, nobody, idiot. Safe, so far.

“So whatever happened to you and Shay?”

Ariko snatches my attention back with a single word. It also destroys my equilibrium. But for all of a second. I permit myself the luxury of a full three seconds more to add something to my reply. It’s just Ariko after all and this might be fun. Moving my fingers away, I fix my gaze on him and say,

“We’re happily married.”

Astonishment mixes with disbelief, peppered with disappointment. He swallows noticeably.

“But…but…I heard that you had broken up ages ago.”

Idiot. And I move in for the kill.

“We did. Now he’s married. And I’m happy.”

Right back at you, ‘Secret Admirer’. I know eyeless boy will report back. So I don’t bother dropping my card at the reception on my way out.

————————————————————————————————–

See how the story changes tone completely with a change of format. Here’s the same tale, this time in a comic. (from the Idea-toons)

‘Management Lessons from Working Mothers’ by Bajaj Allianz Jiyo Befikar Women

*This is a sponsored post.

After a very successful webinar event last month, Bajaj Allianz Jiyo Befikar Women brings us another event this week. This is a Mother’s Day special to honour working mothers.

In the traditional role of a housewife, women have managed budgets, help staff, inventory and multiple schedules. They’ve been multi-taskers and astute managers. As mothers, they’ve balanced teaching, discipline, health, love and numerous other things that go into being a good parent. In the recent years, more and more of them have come into the workplace and continue to prove their mettle to the world. But they also continue to fulfill their roles as loving mothers and proud homemakers.

The ‘Working Mothers Management Tips’ Contest

Who better to give a lesson in management than this lady who’s juggling diapers, balance sheets, groceries and her own health? This week, we ask working mothers for tips on good management, based on their own experiences. These could do with work-life balance, time management, overcoming personal challenges or any of the other ways in which working professionals who are also mothers successfully juggle their multiple roles.

If you are a working mother or you know someone who is, share a working mom management tip on Twitter:  Tweet #MgmtLessonsFromMom. The contest begins tomorrow, 10 May and will run on till 11 May. Five worthy tweets will bag prizes from Bajaj Allianz.

The ‘Management Lessons from Working Mothers’ Webinar

And that’s not all. On Saturday, Jiyo Befikar Women will host the grand finale: a webinar on ‘Management Lessons from Working Mothers’.

The panelists are:

Deepa Malik: This international sportswoman is a Limca Record holder and has also been a participant in several auto rallies, despite the fact that she has been a wheelchair-bound paraplegic for over a decade. This hasn’t stopped her from achieving remarkable glory in sports too, as she has won gold medals in events like javelin and discus throw in the Malaysia Paralympics featuring 13 countries.

Roopa Kochhar has been identified as one of the top 100 women in Allianz, after she single-handedly set up the team that manages over 3500 employees. At 35, she is also one of the youngest Human Resource heads, especially for a company the size of Bajaj Allianz. Roopa is a big proponent of women-friendly and women-secure workplaces. She splits her time between heading the Human Resource division, managing the operations for the Bajaj Allianz Staffing Solutions Division and bringing up her 4 year old son.

Namrata Arora Singh is a talent development expert. with over 13 years of experience with some of the big names in the corporate world and professionally training as an instructional designer, performance consultant and small business entrepreneur, Namrata is a corporate heavyweight. She specializes in coaching women through transitions in life and at work.

Mahima Tankha Marwa is a pioneer of social media as a sales channel. Her 11 years of experience include setting up and successfully driving the websales channel for Bajaj Allianz. Mahima’s other big priority is her 3 year old daughter, with whom she packs in as many activities as possible.

Deepa Malik, Roopa Kochhar, Namrata Arora and Mahima Tankha Marwa will talk about their lives as working mothers building successful careers. Hosting this discussion will be Ajay Gupta, Head of Web Design & Digital Marketing, Bajaj Allianz. The webinar will be broadcast live at 12:45 pm on Saturday, 12^th May. The winners of the ‘Working mothers management tip contest’ will also be announced during this event.

I will be covering the event on Twitter. Register for the webinar at Jiyo Befikar Women, share a #MgmtLessonsFromMom tip or ask the panelists a question by Tweet #JiyoBefikarWomen.

Schedule: Management Lessons from Working Mothers

Twitter contest on #MgmtLessonsFromMom: 10-12 May 2012
Webinar on Jiyo Befikar Women: 12:45 p.m. on Saturday, 12 May 201

Connect

Facebook: Jiyo Befikar, Jiyo Befikar Women
Youtube: jiyobefikar
Blog: Jiyo Befikar Women
Gmail: jiyobefikar@gmail.com

Official: Follow @BajajAllianz
Contest: Tweet #MgmtLessonsFromMom
Webinar coverage: Tweet #JiyoBefikarWomen

The Instagram Story

The social media was all abuzz last month with Facebook taking over Instagram. I took a hard look at this uber-popular image sharing app. I’m still wondering why it got so popular. Here’s my Instagram story on Social Samosa.

“The word on the street associates Facebook’s interest in Instagram with wanting to acquire a competitor. Before the takeover, Instagram’s features do seem attractive for a standalone app. Especially if you’ve tired of the complexity of Facebook and the noise on Twitter, Instagram would seem like a neat, exclusive circle to share your life via pictures. With this takeover though, the dynamics just changed and it remains to be seen how this affects the Instagram loyalists and what powers it adds to the online superpower that is Facebook.”

Read the full Instagram story on Social Samosa.

Shit brands say about Social Media

If you don’t recognize the reference to the ‘Shit XYZ say about ABC’, you’ve probably not been online this year. I loved the concept of this viral because it picked out those silly things that people say & think but don’t actually realize that they believe.

I’m using that reference to bring out some of the common misconceptions that brands (and the people who represent them) carry about social media. In my first article of the month for Social Samosa titled ‘Shit brands say about Social Media’, I address myths (and corresponding truths) about social media platforms, SM users, key influencers and social content.

Here’s the first:

Myth: Social Media is an advertising platform

Truth: Social Media is a collective of conversations.

An advertising medium allows single direction transmission of a message. The message does not get added to or edited along the way. It is created, directed and owned by the sender. The sender also controls the medium because they pay for it.

Social media does not allow unidirectional transmissions. Every user in the medium, is an active participant in the creation and transmission of the message. Hence a message can and will get changed, diluted, contorted and transformed as it passes on.

The smart way to be on this medium is to treat it like an open forum rather than an advertising platform. A brand cannot force a message across on social media by implanting it in content that users are consuming, the way it is done in print or television. The best bet is to get involved in conversations where the message is a natural fit.

Bottomline: Learn to converse, and not just talk.

Read the full article on Social Samosa.

My April articles on Social Samosa:

• Interview with parody blogger, Fake Rakesh Jhunjhunwala
• Vodafone’s Customer Care On Twitter
• How Social Media Helped ‘The Reluctant Detective’
• Is Pinterest Pricking The Copyright Balloon?