May 13, 2007 27 Comments
Some random things that have drifted across my mind recently:
We spend our lives looking for something that will matter so much to us,
that we can’t live without it
Then when we find it,
we run away to practise living without it.
Do you ever have a moment when you realise that someone genuinely cares for you
And you wonder, “WHY?”
Being loved is almost as moving an experience as loving someone
Sometimes it’s slightly spooky and occasionally downright scary
…coming face to face with those aspects of yourself that are deserving of love.
Each time you hurt me
I flee and hide
Nursing my wounds and wondering why you keep hurting me
And then I come back to you
In the hope that this time, you’ll heal me instead.
You don’t need to own a person to be able to love them
You don’t need to be in a relationship with them, don’t need to have them reciprocate
You don’t even actually need them to be actively a part of your life
All you need is to be happy that the person exists
Not indifferent, not indulgent but actively pleased, gratified by the thought
If the thought of the person puts a smile on your face, that can erase all the unpleasant memories they’ve created…
That’s love, that’s love enough, that’s enough really.
Earlier in the week, I inadvertently said something funny and intelligent (only I can’t remember it now). And someone in the room said,
Will you marry me?
I dimpled when someone told my proposer,
You’re already married….to a great man!!!!!
On the weekend, I saw my dear friend. And she looked mesmerizing. She was always a pretty girl. Nicely-dressed too. But last evening, she was positively shimmering. Suddenly I just knew that she was very beautiful. Like her very skin was aglow with her deeply spiritual self, her eyes dancing with the sweet, uncynical wisdom I’ve come to associate with her. Didn’t someone say “We don’t love people because they’re beautiful but they seem beautiful to us because we love them.”? Then when I told her for the fifteenth time that she looked gorgeous, she beamed back and eyes twinkling, asked,
Are you having a crush on me?
And again, for a brief moment, I wondered why my normally easy-to-agitation self was so complacent, unperturbed over something that seems to disturb most people.
From a movie I saw on the weekend,
You can have both roots and wings.
Sometimes truly loving a person means letting them believe that they care about you more than you care about them. Everybody needs to be loved but some people can’t bear to be reminded of it.